Is competition harmful to friendships and growth of the person?

Recently I responded to a thread that addressed the topic of those who were considered to be the best writers of a particular forum as well as who were considered to be the most intelligent. I looked at it the list and only saw one person that I knew, and I know quite a few. Though one could make the argument that perhaps some were slightly upset by the list because we were not on the list that was not my motivation for writing this discussion, my motivation was to promote thought. As I sat here writing my response to that particular topic my thoughts were on competition and the general nature of competition in a capitalistic free market system. My further thoughts as a teacher and parent were the effects of such competition on friendships as well as personal growth of the individual.

In my continuing education as an educator the methodologies for motivating students has changed radically since the days of the “gold star” and “blue birds” reading groups. We have realized as educators that this type of motivation does not work well. We have realized that we need to find ways to help students become intrinsically motivated. We also realize that separating our students by ability such as the old way of teaching reading did more harm than good. The good readers became better, but the poor readers stayed the same or became poorer readers. As educators began to understand this changes were made in how we teach reading, and we began to see that a mixture of students helped both. Stronger readers pulled the struggling readers up and sometimes beyond, and the strong readers still increased!

What was my reason for using an educational story? It is not much different in the world of adults. A person may not be the strongest writer on a forum but that in no sense of the word reflects upon their intelligence. I feel that perhaps this stigma though could cause a person to write less, and perhaps eventually stop participating. That does not seem to be beneficial for anyone. I also feel that this type of competition can lead to hurt feelings and loss of friendships. And it does not seem to be of benefit for individual growth. I believe we need to be very careful of our choice of words and think about their effect on others. Though we should motivate our friends and others to do their best, certain buzz words can make them feel horrible about themselves and this is not something that does the individual any benefit.

It is one thing to offer up suggestions in private to help friends grow; it is another to create a “list”. This sort of list or style of listing makes me think of the slam books so many junior high school students keep saying who is “in” and who is “out”. There is a lovely feature on the particular forum mentioned that allows us to email friends topics we find interesting or feel are worth the view, I feel this cuts down on any competition and hurt feelings.

What are your feelings on this topic? Can competition such as this be harmful to friendships and the growth of the person?

Namaste-Anora

Children

Children are special beings given to us with permission. It is our duty to be good stewards of our charges and to not hamper, hinder, or ruin their spirits while in our care. This does not mean to allow one's child to go without discipline, teaching, and so forth, but it does mean to guide and not to live through, and to let go when the time comes.

Dr. Oz's 6 tips to keep your brain sharp

Dr. Oz's 6 tips to keep your brain sharp

I had to share this link today because there is some great truths in keeping our brain sharp. There are things we can do on a daily basis that help us stay healthy, and they keep our brain healthy. In a world where we are seeing more cases of Alzheimer it is important that we not overlook the importance of keeping our brain in good working order.

Namaste-Anora

Blessed Mabon 2010

Blessings my dear friends upon this Autumnal Equinox and blessed Mabon. I am ever thankful for such wonderful friends and the bounty the Goddesses/Gods provide even if through my own skill and knowledge. I am so blessed. May you be blessed today.

Sage away negative energies

Negative energies? Try sage. Sage is a wonderful herb used in many traditions for cleansing. I perfer using a sage bundle mixed with sweet grass but any sage in any form is just as effective. In order to ensure negative energies remain outside make sure to sage all entry ways and windows.

The choice is yours

It is very easy to externalize our hurts and fears and place them upon something outside of our field. It is an entirely other path to face them head on, deal with them, and move through them into another field. The choice is yours.

It doesn't matter what we call it...

It matters not if you call it the ego, the soul, or the inner monkey Trevor it is all the same thing. There are things we make a choice to do based upon the fact that it is right by us and the rest of the society, and there are things we make a choice to do simply based upon instant gratification.

Entitlement, the problem afflicting humanity

Entitlement, the problem afflicting humanity

In the last week I have had numerous conversations with those around me regarding things from child rearing to the state of the economy and one theme came up above all others and that was entitlement. It seems that even from an early age we as human sentient beings somehow gather that we have a ‘right’ to things, and this basic thought of entitlement is fostered in today’s society.

It seems we foster this in our current society with statements and sentiments such as “I’ve earned it”, or “I had it coming”, or “I deserve it”. One can say that indeed these types of external motivators do indeed do their job. They urge us to work harder and longer hours. They urge us to achieve better grades in school. There is nothing at all wrong with a hard days work. However, when we do not get that promotion even though we have put in long hours, or receive the award for best student even though we have put in long hours of studying we end up in a human quandary. We find ourselves bitter saying “But I deserved it”. Did we really?

This small belief in entitlement then transfers over to the larger group and can have very complex and grand effects upon the society as a whole. We tend to see this with those who have “earned” their own monies or find themselves in a place of high status within a status driven society. We hear statements and sentiments such as “I’ve earned what I’ve got, why don’t you earn yours”, and “I had to work hard, why should I help another”? In the United States we have more than enough food, for example, to sustain our entire population and yet we still have people have little to nothing. When asking to raise taxes in a community for the purpose of education a lot of the sentiment is “Why should I support another’s child”? This trend in thinking has permeated a great many areas, and these are but two that I have brought up.

So what do we do about it as an individual or a community? The first place we can start is by changing our perspectives. We are not truly entitled to anything. Yet we all have the ability to have all of our needs and wants met so long as we are allowing and assisting others to have their needs and wants met. It is in changing our perspective from “I deserve, earned, worked for it” to “I did what was right by humanity”. In this subtle change in perspective we now ensure that all of humanity prospers.

Remember that people need...

Remember that people need to experience various emotions in life. Though we would all find life easier without the upsets, these emotions of sadness, anger, and other not so pleasant emotions are what help us to understand our higher self. If we were already enlightened we would not need such things.

Tiger Lillies and unwanted spirits

Having issues with spirits/ghosts in your home? Tiger lilies planted near entry ways and windows are said to prevent the entry of spirits/ghosts into your home. If you live in an apartment you could try having a large potted planter full of Tiger lilies.

Mylot

If you are wanting to earn a little bit for writing and chatting online come join me at Mylot.

Candle Spell-Quick Healing

Need healing energies? Etch the afflicted person's name into a green candle and burn with the intentions of well being. (Attributed to many books with similar spells). You can put your own spin on this as well, and may also use anointing oils.

Krishna's Birthday

Today, September first, is the day many Hindu's celebrate Lord Krishna's birth. It is a day that is often marked by the giving of sweets, so my husband brought me home sweet chocolate & oatmeal bars this morning. Today I am baking in return some sweet oatmeal filled bars. There are many stories available online on how various families celebrate, and all worth the reading.

Blessings my dear friends and Namaste-
Anora